Usually, a relationship between two individuals evolves slowly over time. The two sides open up gradually about their life. However, if one person is fast in sharing and talks about very personal things very early in the relationship, it is floodlighting or trauma dumping. Read on to know it in detail.
What is floodlighting or trauma dumping in a relationship?
Modern days are online dating days. New terms are being coined every other day to describe some new aspect of the relationship on it.
Floodlighting or trauma dumping is one such new term that one can hear commonly in recent days on dating platforms or forums. It is a Gen Z term and in this, one partner will share very personal details at the start of a relationship. In short, here, love gets converted into drama.
This is an attempt to manipulate emotions. It is similar to oversharing. But in floodlighting, the purpose is deliberate to check on how much the potential partner can deal with or handle. One should be aware of this term in order to keep the relationship better.
The sharing might be about childhood traumas and emotional issues, past relationship pain, and other griefs. The aim is to gain sympathy and trust of the other partner. But it is a false sense of intimacy. It might end in a disaster for the person sharing the minute personal details. The person sharing the information might be doing so to reduce his or her pent up emotions and pain.
Disadvantages of this dating trend
This type of dating is fraught with risks and disadvantages. If one person shares too much in order to reduce pain, there is a risk of getting exploited by the other partner. The sharing person carries a risk of getting manipulated.
If the other partner is disinterested, it might add to the grief of the sharing person.
This dating trend can create an imbalance in relationship. The person listening to the personal stories of the other person might not be able to tell his or her side of the story. It might make this person uncomfortable.
Sharing a lot does not guarantee long term relationship. It might burden the other person and lead to early breakup. The intimacy may be fake and short lived.
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The person sharing too much is usually an insecure individual and this can create problems later in the relationship.
What relationship experts say?
Relationship experts feel that the line between healthy sharing of personal details and floodlighting is very fine. One can easily tread to the other side in a relationship. One should be careful about it.
Dating expert, Jessica Alderson elaborated to Glamour:
“Floodlighting in dating is about using vulnerability as a high-intensity spotlight.”
She continued:
“It involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once – to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can ‘handle’ these parts of you.”
Jessica and her sister, Louella have founded the dating app So Synced.
In floodlighting, the relationship seems to be moving at a lightning speed from one side. It could overwhelm and suffocate the other person. Jessica adds:
“Floodlighting often stems from a fear of rejection – a way to show all your vulnerabilities upfront in hopes of securing acceptance. But true connection happens gradually, not under the pressure of emotional overload.”
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